ONLINE COUNSELLING
Please note this online service does not include psychotherapy.
This is a counselling based service.
The supervision and mentoring facility is further down this page
There are advantages in accessing counselling online:
A relationship is established within which you can be relatively anonymous
After describing the issues you want to discuss I reply. You then have as much time as you need to consider my reply and your next response
You work with me at your own pace and maintain your privacy
You can end the relationship at any time by writing a brief reason for your decision to stop writing.
E mailed messages provide opportunities to describe your emotional responses to situations or people. The reasons for present difficulties may involve the past, the present or the future and I consider as many influences as possible.
Counselling takes the whole person into account so your thoughts, physical health, spiritual, cultural or philosophical beliefs, your emotions, and the way you sustain yourself daily are all important factors.
You may want to ask for direction, consider a new pathway for your life, discuss employment, creative work, education, opportunities or your goals.I can make practical suggestions as well as considering personal, psychological or social issues.
You may want to describe relationships you wish to enhance or are finding difficult to manage. I can discuss your personal relationships with you. (Bear in mind only one person’s view is being presented to me and that will have an impact on the way my responses are formed).
See the "getting started" box on the left of this page for ideas on how to write.
There are important matters to consider before you get started:
The best way to access counselling or supervision is to make an appointment with a professional in your own community. Choose a health professional who adheres to a code of ethics in a professional association and is recommended by someone you trust. I can send you my document, ‘guidelines for clients’ if you are considering consulting a practitioner in your own area.
Online assistance is not available on this site if you are under the age of 20yrs.
Online contact is not appropriate if you are in urgent need of help, your safety is at risk or if you are in danger of harming someone else.
If you are in the care of a mental health professional who has already assessed your situation it is important to advise them before accessing help online. It is advisable to use the services already offered to you in your community if you are in an urgent crisis situation or you consider you are in need of professional mental health care. Most cities and towns have crisis telephone services, places of refuge and organisations that will respond to an urgent call. If you are physically unwell it is important to contact a medical practitioner or a hospital based service. The front pages of your telephone book will contain urgent numbers to call or you can find crisis telephone numbers on the internet.
If you are already consulting a counsellor, a therapist, culturally based assistance or a mental health professional (as a client or as a supervisee) I need to know in order to discuss the purpose of my relationship with you.
SUPERVISION AND MENTORING SERVICES
To make contact click on "contact me" in the blue box
These services are available online for counsellors, health professionals and educators.
Supervision online has a similar format to the counselling service and is especially helpful when practitioners are managing client situations and looking for suggestions as to how to work with clients. You may also wish to review your practice, ways to manage workload and discuss boundaries, stress levels, professional development goals or career opportunities.
If you are a trainee counsellor you may wish to discuss training programme expectations, review assignments or plan ways to work with clients and colleagues.
Staff in educational facilities and managers in organisations often use mentoring services to find ways through educational dilemmas, staff relationships, workload issues, teaching plans or policy formation.
Online supervision may supplement other supervision arrangements and it is important for me to to know if you are connected with another supervisor or supervisory system.
PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL PROFILE
In my personal life I am married and enjoy our three adult sons, their partners and five grandchildren.
In professional life I am in private practice as a counsellor,supervisor and consultant trainer.
I resigned in October 2005 after fifteen years as a Senior Tutor and Head of School in a degree programme which trained counsellors in the Wellington Institute of Technology. I am currently the New Zealand-Pacific representative on the Board of the World Council for Psychotherapy and was President of the New Zealand Association of Psychotherapists from 1998 to 2000. As a Senior Lecturer in the 1980's I taught trainee social workers in a degree programme at Massey University. Prior to 1980 I was a Lecturer in Psychology and Sociology in the Continuing Education Department at Massey University. I trained Marriage Guidance counsellors nationally for ten years and held positions as the Director of a Family Counselling Centre, Social Auditor and Family Court Counsellor. For nine years I practised as a consultant psychotherapist in Palmerston North and spent time as a staff counsellor in a pharmaceutical company, a mediator for organisations and a trainer and mentor for social service groups. In the early years of my career I was a Methodist clergyman, a part time prison and hospital chaplain and completed internships in school counselling and a community psychiatric clinic.
From 2009 I am not accepting clients for psychotherapy but I am continuing to practise as a counsellor.
FORMAL QUALIFICATIONS
BA (University of Canterbury 1970)
MSW (Hons) (Massey University 1981)
Dip Soc Wk (Victoria University 1972)
Dip Theol Ordn (Trinity Methodist Theological College, Auckland 1968).
World Council Psychotherapy Certificate (Vienna, Austria, 2008)
Member, New Zealand Association of Psychotherapists. (1984)
PAPERS TO READ (Written by Roy)
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PAPER ONE:
FACING THAT WHICH CANNOT BE PROVEN
In 2007 I was invited to speak about a topic I had not spoken about for many years.
It was a difficult challenge. Here is the response I made:
Introduction
My intention in this seminar is to suggest ways in which each one of us can take part in spiritually based discussions with clients whether we are spiritually inclined, confused or unsure, or if we find spirituality an unacceptable concept in the profession.
Contemplating spirituality
I will leave the question, “does spirituality exist and how do we prove its existence?” to one side because its existence is assumed in the conference theme: “The struggle to speak of spirituality in counselling”. The word psyche has Greek origins which mean soul or breath. Counselling is traditionally based on psychology. If soul is the expression of spirituality we are speaking about psyche and not psychology. Psychology limits the psyche to proof, definition and explanation. I read the work ‘struggle’ in the title. In my view, it will only be a struggle to speak of spirituality if spirituality is tied to dogma or certainty.
Some would argue religion is the only authentic vehicle for spirituality. They argue religion is the only spiritual setting that points people beyond the universe to something outside of human experience, beyond the ego. The question is whether there is a distinction between secular spirituality and spirituality which is contained by religion.
Many counselling professionals believe spirituality is an integral part of the counselling process. On the other hand some believe spirituality should not be part of a professional counselling conversation because it relies on ideas that cannot be proven. I note you placed the word spiritual and not the word religion in the title. Many counsellors believe clients who hold spiritual beliefs suffer from delusions or are captured by the power of religion. Other counsellors are convinced spiritual conversations should only be attended to within a defined religious setting.
Is every counselling conversation a spiritual dialogue or is spirituality a distinct kind of conversation? Is spirituality a separate issue in the same way we think of sexual abuse, addiction or trauma as separate issues? It depends whether we view issues and topics as separate from the person who carries them or whether we agree that every idea is connected to another, each aspect of individuality is woven together and all influences are interdependent.
Perhaps every counselling conversation is spiritual
When clients refer specifically to spiritual influences my ethics do not allow me to ignore their requests. If we agree it is important for clients to be at the centre of the counselling process then their issues are paramount. How spirituality is defined, whether it is acknowledged and the language we use to discuss it, will vary from person to person. I believe every counselling conversation is spiritual because we are meeting with all the dimensions of the human spirit.
There have been many attempts to re-define client spirituality and give it other names such as abstraction, dissociation, wish fulfillment, psychological guilt, cultural conditioning, reality avoidance or self-nurturing.
If spirituality is named it needs to be attended to without labels and without judgement. If client spirituality is debilitating we are there to help lift the burden. If client spirituality is enhancing we are there to ensure it is experienced in a way that makes for wholeness and creativity.
If clients wish to separate spirituality from other influences in their lives then perhaps it is wise to suggest a referral to someone who will help them compartmentalise their thoughts and feelings in that way. The counselling process, on the other hand, has to do with the integration of our being.
If we refer clients to someone else to attend to their spirituality we assume there is specialised knowledge which can be used by another professional to address spirituality in ways that will be more useful to clients. The assumption may be valid. On the other hand many of us have referred people to religious professionals and realised we could have met the client’s need from our own resources by retaining the relationship we built carefully.
First steps for the counsellor
Once we decide spirituality cannot be separated from other matters which concern clients we have a professional responsibility to find ways of discussing spiritual matters. If we discuss trauma with clients we need to know what the word trauma triggers in us. If we discuss addiction or abuse with clients we need to know our own reactions to addiction or abuse. It follows we have a responsibility to know ourselves well with regard to spirituality.
Is our spirituality embedded within? Is it focused on influences outside our own being? Is it dependent on our relationship with others who are sensitive to what we know to be spiritual? Is it experienced in the natural world? Is it dependent on spiritual beings such as gods, wise advisers or chosen leaders? Is our spiritual life enhanced by ancestors, heritage or the accumulation of wisdom down through the centuries? Is it based on religious observance?
Perhaps we find spirituality in parallel worlds where there are guides, instruments of the supernatural or coincidences in life. We may be astrological, teleological or theological or philosophical.
Perhaps we do not believe there is a spiritual realm of any kind. Perhaps we prefer the scientific world, instruments of proof and experiences we can touch, observe, and change. It is also possible every category I have mentioned appeals to each one of us.
Our clients will also experience spirituality through a chosen lens. If it is not the same lens we use we need to take great care we are not tempted to persuade, judge or challenge from our own perspective.
Counselling that includes a focus on spirituality rather than religion probably demands more from the counsellor than most other counselling settings. The spiritual arena cannot be defined. The spiritual arena is an abstraction. If we try to capture it, it disappears. The spiritual arena is not a formula for life. Once we write it into some kind of behavioural code it becomes a ritualised programme. Ritual that opens the mind and feelings to possibility is pertinent to counselling. Ritual that encourages rigidity or conformity is not aligned with the ethics of our profession.
During counselling the spiritual arena does not act on people, they act within it. Once we make it into a treatment we use psychological and behavioural language which cannot translate the experience.
The search for psychic truth
The spiritually sensitive counsellor will be available to clients having examined their own ties to voices which dictate beliefs, dogma and moral imperatives. Spiritually centred relationships demand openness in a unique way. In order to be completely open in the moment we need to track the inhibitors embedded in our psyche. We are searching for the truth about us.
This is quite different from any external truth proposed by religious dogma. While we can never discover the whole truth about ourselves because it does not present in the mind’ s eye as a total picture, we can sense when we are resisting, avoiding or having an internal psychic argument.
If there is a struggle to be spiritual it lies in the struggle to accept what we know to be the truth about us. If the truth about ourselves is denied we cannot be available to our clients spiritually. Counsellors have often been told they need to resolve their own issues but it is seldom suggested they need to know the psychic truth about themselves which is quite a different matter. I use the phrase ‘psychic truth’ deliberately. The psyche claims a wider view than views found in psychological language. Psychological language depends on frameworks and summaries of the way people think, act and live together. It doesn’t address the uniqueness of individuality or unique patterns in each person’ s conscious or unconscious mind. Psychic truth permits individual insight, unproven belief, imagination, wish fulfillment and visits from ancestors. It is the stuff dreams are made of and a foundation for creativity. It is a perspective which mirrors possibility and reflects it back to the curious mind.
There are important debates in scientific and philosophical literature with regard to the conscious and unconscious mind, debates as to whether consciousness is connected to mind and whether the mind is within or without the brain. These debates point to the impossibility of defining how the psyche works, where it lies in the human system and what purpose it serves. What is common, however, is that there is something present which currently defies definition. In my view the connections between the conscious and unconscious mind contain and give expression to what we call spirituality.
If as counsellors we explore the waves of consciousness and tidal flows in our unconscious reminders we enter spiritual realms easily.
If we look for solutions, explanations, causes and cures we will remain trapped by psychology, theology or religious formulations. The task is to move beyond that which can be explained and refuse to define it.
The ‘available’ counsellor will manage uncertainty well, be at peace with questions about existence or non existence, accept there may never be any resolution to questions about living or dying and be ready to contemplate infinite possibilities in people, the universe and the creative mind.
Counsellors who have an allegiance to religious frameworks can be open in this way without relinquishing their beliefs. David Tacey writes, “Psychodynamically, this is the whole point of religion: it is a vast wealth of knowledge, paradox, and mystery which can be used to guide the individual out of the prison-house of egocentricity, toward a larger life.” And again, “Religious people must not condemn popular spirituality….Rather, the religious challenge is to dialogue with it, to relate to popular hunger, and to suggest how it may be satisfied.” (i)
Adherence to a religious pathway sometimes defines what is spiritual but most religions acknowledge that each person is at liberty to interpret spirituality in their own way. Religious behaviour may be defined by a creed but spiritual essence cannot be captured or controlled.
I remember using theological or psychologically based persuasion to influence behaviour and ideas when I spoke from the pulpit many years ago, but I could never predict the spiritual interpretations each member of the congregation would create within their own soul. The individual psyche remains a free spirit.
Empathic spiritual imagination
The counsellor who is open in the way I have described can attend to spirituality in clients in a professional manner.
We are there to honour client choice and client centred process. There is considerable skill involved in leaving questions open, following language we may not understand and allowing client association patterns to run free. Each time the client voice deviates from our own spiritual sense we are tempted to draw them back and apply our own logic.
What we need is empathic spiritual imagination. This is not found in rules that apply to counselling methods. It is not found in behavioural interventions, the discovery of historical trauma, the search for solutions or the management of narratives. It is not found in the exploration of historical emotional material and it is obscured in methods that encourage people to stand tall and live comfortably within relationships or communities. It is also not found in analysis, designed treatment and psychological theory.
Empathic spiritual imagination will be inhibited if it is tied to a religion. Clients sense our preferred frameworks easily and in my view it is unethical to use persuasion, subtle suggestion or evidence from our own religious journeys in non aligned counselling settings. If we offer counselling from a religious framework then clients need to be told they might encounter persuasion, definitive pathways to follow or evangelism.
Religious based counselling has often been extremely helpful but clients should always know before counselling begins the extent to which there is a common belief system present amongst the staff team in a religious setting.
Psychic truth, a dual search
If empathic spiritual imagination is something different from the kind of counselling practice found in textbooks, what does it entail? It is, again, the search for psychic truth. This time counsellor and client are searching together. The search is renewed in us every time we meet each new client. If we enter the room convinced we know what spirituality is, we have destroyed possibility. Client and counsellor perspectives will be mirrored one to the other as the dialogue takes place. A special kind of curiosity will operate and the counsellor will be curious about themselves and about the client. Solution seeking needs to remain on hold.
I will draw attention to detailed practical skills later in this seminar. At this point it important to stress that the skills required for spiritual conversations cannot be applied sequentially. In counselling textbooks we are advised to apply skills one by one using them like surgical instruments to seek out issues and encourage client contemplation. Some skills are used to focus on the mind, others on the emotions, the body, or the story being told by the client. We attend seminars teaching us to approach clients using a variety of methods..
The skills for spiritual conversations are unlike other skills we have been taught. They rely on an imaginative exploration of images being reflected back from two mirrors. The images create nuances, they hint at unseen influences and connect without connecting. They cannot be captured in the way that which we call reality is captured. These mirrored images are often about the large questions; “From whence did I enter the womb?” “How should I live this life?” “Is this the only life?”
They are seldom expressed in such clear terms. They lie in between association patterns in the mind, they are referred to in brief allusions, they enter the language of the mind and then they drift away. Spiritual content has form but the form changes moment by moment.
The counsellor needs to know when to reach out, when to share their own images and when to stay silent in the presence of something often called awe, numinosity or holiness.
Some may recognise all this as a kind of subtext. Psychotherapists and counsellors who have spiritual sensitivity know it well. It is not just the collective unconscious although that can be linked to a profound spirituality. It is not just neurons firing in the brain giving rise to unexpected memories or desires. It is never enough in counselling to explain it as ‘God with us’ because that hands it over to another being.
Professional counsellors are ethically bound to explore these abstractions with clients by keeping it all ‘client centred’, not ‘other (or deity) centred’.
Science and spirituality
There is a further challenge to close this introduction to our seminar. Quantum theory has introduced us to the idea that everything is interconnected. Some of the foundations of quantum theory are reminiscent of spiritual, religious or theological ideas which have been around for centuries. Think of Reiki usually translated as “Universal Life Force Energy” (ii), Christianity wherein “Father Son and Holy Spirit should be understood as three persons sharing a single divine substance” (iii), Hinduism where “Samsara is the continual process of birth and rebirth we all experience” (iv) and Daoism where “The way is the cosmic and controlling principle, according to which all nature functions” (v).
The scientific explanations are complicated and I do not pretend to understand the complexities. What I do understand from science is that matter is interwoven and separation of matter is an idea subject to intensive review. A further complication is that once matter is being observed it changes its structure. The observer influences the way things come together, the behaviour of particles, the pathways being chosen. Counsellor and client are observing each other. In addition, they are connected in ways science is just beginning to understand.
Some professionals will now want to claim quantum interconnection as a kind of spiritual union. There is a danger in claiming scientific discovery and re-labelling it to suit our own perspective. What I find important is the idea that counsellor and client are observing each other from within, through their grasp on reality, in and around the connected relationship and inside the stories from their individual histories. This is all happening in each moment without pause. We have traditionally called this transference. The idea of transference does not do justice to what is really happening. When we speak of emotional transference, sexual transference, the transference of ideas and desires they are all described as separate phenomena.Then we speak of resolving each transferential segment.
In a quantum world we cannot separate one aspect from another. We cannot separate moments and we cannot separate that which we call spiritual from any other aspect of the persons we are in each moment.
So my spirituality is interwoven with yours. Yours has a different milieu, a different colour to it, but as it meets mine it takes on the hues I have generated and nurtured within myself. Your resistance to spirituality meets every aspect of my understanding and what you have called your faith is not separate from what I am experiencing in the moments of our relationship. Lewis, Fari and Lannon write, “..mammals developed a capacity we call limbic resonance - a symphony of mutual exchange…whereby two mammals become attuned to each other’s inner states. It is limbic resonance that makes looking into the face of another emotionally responsive creature a multi -layered experience. When we look into the ocular portals (the eyes) to a limbic brain our vision goes deep; the sensations multiply, just as two mirrors placed in opposition create a shimmering ricochet of reflections whose depths recede into infinity” (vi). I will return to Thomas Lewis later in the seminar. The important message is that every part of my being is interwoven with yours in a way that has no limits, no boundaries and is full of infinite possibility.
It follows that as counselling professionals we do not need to tell our clients about our faith. The universe has taken care of that already and then there is the additional factor of everything being in flux, waves of meaning changing every nanno second and understandings being amended as soon as they are seen within the mind’s eye.
There are ways to manage this ever changing process. We are not required to put our spirituality to one side because it cannot be separated from who we are. We are not required to train others to listen to the truths we hold in high regard. They are already emerging as soon as we start building a relationship.
No struggle is required. The spiritual world is already there. What is required is what is known as sentience, or in counselling terms, empathic spiritual imagination.
Later in the seminar I will explain empathic spiritual imagination in detail. The skills dovetail and connect in fleeting moments and, in many ways, we cannot speak of separate skill sets. On the other hand, it helps to separate the fingers of each hand so that when we grasp the moving hand of the ‘other’ we both experience an ever changing spiritual union.
A. Roy Bowden
August 2007.
Presentation at the Regional Conference,
NZ Association of Counsellors,
Waikato. September 2007.
APPENDIX
SKILLS IN CONTEXT
THE NOTHING AND THE NOT NOTHING
Words cannot be relied on to convey understandings especially where spirituality is concerned.
The client is a diamond waiting to be discovered rather than talked to.
The facets of the diamond I contemplate with clients in are flash points filled with spiritual meanings.
Counselling relationships are made within the context of cultural and spiritual moments.
Spiritual connection arises out of an appreciation of the moment, permission for the client to discover their own world of meanings and a willingness to work with what both Maori and Greek insight has called ‘the nothing and the not nothing’. It has also been called sentience, numinosity and holiness.
I draw your attention to a belief which is centuries old in the indigenous culture of Aotearoa New Zealand and in Greek mythology. “The Maori traditional belief is that the whole of creation is a dynamic movement
I te kore, ki te poo, ki te ao maarama, ‘out of the nothingness, into the night, into the world of light”. (vii)
It is, in a less profound way, a description of the way I work. It involves the desire to focus on ‘the nothing and the not nothing’.
What is the nothing and the not nothing? I have been told by people willing to share with me that it can be described as ‘the void’, ‘potential’, or ‘energy’ in Maori understandings. It can be represented as ‘the void in which nothing is possessed’, ‘the void with nothing in union’, ‘the space without boundaries’. It can also be ‘the void in which nothing is felt’.
If I establish a spiritual relationship with people counselling is created in moments. The moments must begin as if there were nothing apart from the light and perhaps the darkness we both bring. As I hold the sum total of who I am in my being and wait for my ‘self’ to be met by ‘the other’ we make counselling for that spontaneous meeting. The psyche is merging with therapeutic process, the soul is surprised by relationship. Within that relationship moment every strand of knowledge I have absorbed, each conditioned aspect of my existence, every cultural icon and intangible spirit affects the foundation of my being.
I dare not allow my mind to conjure a theory of personality or a therapeutic method. If I search for explanation or method I will stifle my own creativity, I will lose my ‘self’. Recall a theory and connection is lost. Apply a method and the other person will be imprisoned.
Clients have a world wide web in their hearts and minds and pages filled with surprises which are worth downloading in the moment. They should never be saved to a file. A spiritually based counselling will rely on description rather than analysis. Once an analysis is made the spiritual truths have been colonised.
The spiritually connected counsellor will be curious and reflective without relying on formulations. Attempts at understanding are born of the desire to capture and to possess. A spiritually sensitive counselling reflects the world it senses and describes what it observes.
Grant Gillett, a New Zealand Geneticist writes, “There is no progressively refined story to tell about the human condition which leads to a single view of the nature of reality. There is, instead, a concept of truth as a mobile army of metaphors that capture our minds so we see the world in certain ways. The increasingly rational view of the world trumpeted by scientific realism is characterised as an illusion, and particularly when we try to understand human beings, a much more fluid formation is suggested.” (viii)
Another gift is, perhaps, our awareness of word meanings. Earlier I mentioned that words have been the main focus of counselling and suggested a wider perspective to include other channels for expression. Our gift is perhaps the ability to teach the importance of nuance and the tracking of pathways called associations. We know how to listen for meanings beneath the surface of the mind that are not only important in the psyche but may be important in spiritual formation.
What we are trained to listen for is what Gillett calls discursive narrative. This is story that cannot be defined only in scientific terms. He says “The human psyche is a remarkable creation born of the impingement of word on flesh, or, if you prefer, discourse on the body. This soul or psyche is a unique metaphysical species which, in itself, has given birth to both metaphysics and epistemology.”(ix)
The process is more important than the ownership of meaning. The skill lies in being able to describe and let lie. To highlight and listen for response. To give up the dords and allow them to fill moments in time.
The gift from the trained counsellor ought to be offered unwrapped. It might mean suspending knowledge.
References
(i) Tacey, David, (2002) Spirit Makes Us Human In Dialogue Australia Jnl, April 2002, p24
(ii) Partridge, Christopher, (2004) Encyclopedia of New Religions, Lion Publishing, p231
(iii) Ibid, p27
(iv) Ibid, p158
(v) Ibid, p216
(vi) Lewis, T, Amini F, Lannon R, (2000) A General Theory of Love, Vintage, pp 63,64
(vii) Shirres M P (1997) Maori Theology and Maori Knowledge In Te Tangata: The Human Person, Accent
(viii) Gillett G (1999) The Mind and Its Discontents- An Essay in Discursive Psychiatry, Oxford University
Press, p426
(ix) Gillett G (1999) The Mind and Its Discontents- An Essay in Discursive Psychiatry, Oxford University
Press, p426
Readings
Bowden A. Roy, (2001) A Psychotherapist Sings in Aotearoa, Caroy Publications, Plimmerton, NZ
Bowden A R (2002) Does Psychotherapy meet Fundamental Human Need? WCP Symposium, Wien, Austria
Broom B ((1999) The Unconscious: An Integrationist Perspective Forum (Jnl) NZ Assn Psychoth, Vol 5
Claxton G (1986) Beyond Therapy: Impact of Eastern Religions on Psychol. Theory and Practice, Prism Press
Dawkins, Richard (2006) The God Delusion, Bantam Press
Donovan Peter (1990) Religions of New Zealanders, Dunmore Press
Fazekas, T, Plaas C.A. (2004) The Need for Psychotherapy Shaker Verlag, Aachen
Gillett G (1999) The Mind and its Discontents –An Essay in Discursive Psychiatry Oxford University Press
Gazzaniga, Michael S. (1998) The Mind’s Past, University of California Press
His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Howard Cutler, (2006) The Art of Happiness, Hodder
Hora Thomas (1977) Existential Meta-Psychiatry, Seabury
Jamieson Alan, (2000) A Churchless Faith, Astra Print, Wellington, NZ
Jamieson Alan, McIntosh Jenny, Thompson, Adrienne, (2006) Five Years On:
Continuing Faith Journeys of those who left the Church Portland Trust, NZ
LeDoux J (1999) The Emotional Brain Phoenix, Orion Books, London
Lewis, T, Amini F, Lannon R, (2000) A General Theory of Love, Vintage
McGinn Colin, (1999) The Mysterious Flame: Conscious Minds in a Material World, Basic Books
Partridge, Christopher, (2004) Encyclopedia of New Religions, Lion Publishing
Patterson, ,John (1992) Exploring Maori Values, Dunmore Press
Patterson, John (2000) People of the Land: A Pacific Philosophy, Dunmore Press
Robinson, Rita and Dancing Feather, Fran (2000) Exploring Native American Wisdom, New Page
Robinson, Samuel Timoti (2005) Tohunga, Reed Publishing
Samuels, Andrew (1999) Jung and the Post Jungians, Brunner Routledge
Shirres M P (1997) Maori Theology and Maori Knowledge in Te Tangata, The Human Person,
Accent Publications Auckland New Zealand
Tacey, David, (2002) Spirit Makes Us Human In Dialogue Australia Jnl, April 2002
Tacey, David (2006) After Disbelief : Remythologising and Spiritual Renewal Paper, Sea of Faith, Marton, NZ
Thompson, Laurence G (1973) The Chinese Way in Religion, University of Southern California
Walker Evan Harris (2000) The Physics of Consciousness: the Quantum Mind, Meaning of Life, Perseus Bks
Wallis K C & Poulton J L (2001) Internalization, The Origins and Construction of Internal Reality
Open University Press Philadephia USA
Wellings N & Wilde E (eds) (2000) Transpersonal Psychotherapy Theory and Practice Continuum, London
Welwood J (2000) Toward a Psychology of Awakening Shambala Publications, Boston, Massachusetts
Wilber K (1996) A Brief History of Everything Hill of Content Publishing, Melbourne
Wilber, Ken (1977) The Spectrum of Consciousness, Quest
Published in 'Counselling Today'
NZAC National Newsletter.
December 2007
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PAPER TWO:
SUPERVISION,POWER AND EFFECTIVE RELATIONSHIPS
LEAVE THE QUESTIONS OPEN
The supervision relationship is a powerful setting. It is important to debate the way power is used in supervision and examine the implications of a powerful relationship.
Expansive power-
Models for supervision give us helpful formulae but may also inhibit what we do. Many assume we go to supervision to have our work monitored, gain new insights, attend to self care, review ethics, examine relationships within our client practice and keep up with new knowledge. There is implied agreement about all this in our associations guidelines. These helpful parameters keep us safe but they are not expansive enough to make supervision creative and powerful. When I was first trained I needed the kind of supervision outlined in models and professional standards. After practising for about five years I needed something more. I was fortunate to find it in the practice rooms of most of my supervisors over a thirty year period and up to this day. None of them have needed to be powerful over me in any way. Those in my past and those who meet with me now immerse themselves in other disciplines and interests as well as those associated with caring professions. Our broadly based conversations ‘consider the whole of life’ without making decisions about how life should be lived. There is an inherent trust in my way of working and permission to attend to professional development without trying to persuade me into a specific modality or the latest insight from a reputable author. There are suggestions without insistence, questions without answers, possibilities without expectations. Tragedies in people’s lives are discussed without any drive to analyse, ‘dig deeper’ disturb memories or initiate catharsis. There is no preference for focusing primarily on the mind, the feelings, the body, the family system, narratives, culture or the cause and effects of damaging experiences.
At times I wonder whether we cling to structure and caution in supervision so carefully that we end up actually creating power relationships that are difficult to manage. The power of effective relationship will be positive if it risks vulnerability, not knowing, less analysis and more imagining. In many ways that may be safer than a structured approach. It may pose dilemmas for professionals who rely on answers and specific direction before they move forward with a client. However, the well trained practitioner ought not to need explicit instructions or designed formulae. My supervisors are, and often have been, my friends. At my career stage that is possible without boundaries being blurred. It is different when one is starting out but it is also possible for supervisors of trainees to be firm and advisory and, at the same time, maintain a collegial atmosphere which encourages rather than finds fault.
The power of method-
I try to imagine what clients would think about our discussions. Clients are not present to check our assumptions, our insights or our planning processes. Their absence leaves us holding the balance of power and I keep that in mind. As soon as supervisee and supervisor meet they engage in planning ‘for the benefit of the client’. This leads to decisions made by two powerful practitioners. On occasions it is decided clients might benefit from a modality based approach, a specific technique or ‘treatment’. The supervisee applying ‘method’ holds persuasive power over the client. I wonder about the rationale behind those decisions and whether we pause long enough to ask why the choice was made. If both supervisor and supervisee have been trained in a similar setting or the client seems to have a similar profile to a person who apparently benefited from the same approach, ‘method’ usually becomes more important than the relationship with the client.
Client issues are often summarised and analysed in supervision. The language we use reflects our training and our preferred processes for explaining other people’s behaviour to ourselves. I often think about the powerful implications present when we categorise, fit clients’ (or supervisees’) profiles into our own theoretical frameworks and use selective research to support our views. Once client individuality has been lost in generalisations we may be in danger of exercising the power assumed certainty creates. Once the client is made to ‘fit’ therapeutic colonisation has begun. The practice of analysing supervisees using therapeutic language carries similar implications to the analysis of clients. Both processes lead to the misuse of power. It is better to keep each unique person in view and use our training tentatively, keeping the questions open.
Shared power-
When important decisions are made around safety, ethics, and boundaries the power balance in the supervisory relationship shifts. The supervisor feels ultimately responsible and the supervisee relies on the supervisor’s extra experience or training. Shared power is particularly important in these moments. Ethics, safety and boundary issues give rise to complicated emotions, the need for extra clarity and uncertainty as to how to act. In situations where colleagues and/or clients are at risk we need to make careful assessments of the consequences and benefits of sharing power in a way that protects professional integrity. We can do that if we keep asking perceptive questions of ourselves and others at every stage in the process. As each decision is made both colleagues need to engage in a plan built on their powerful respect for each other. They have power over the future of people’s lives and that is never easy to act on alone. Clear thinking is crucial when decisions are urgent and we rely on health professionals, legal advisers or managers who act within their own powerful systems. Issues that have to do with boundaries, ethics and competence are best managed in shared power relationships with other professionals. We are sometimes tempted to label related health services and practitioners in ways that limit possibilities and make us feel powerful. When we put aside our opinions and critical comparisons it is possible to establish close working relationships which benefit our clients and our profession. We can only think clearly when we treat each other as colleagues.
Language and power-
The power of therapeutic overtones in a supervisory relationship is often helpful and sometimes damaging. How easy it is to feel powerful when we discuss transference, discover embedded memories, reveal hidden regrets or uncover loss and tragedy. How easy it is to feel powerful when these discoveries are mirrored within the supervision relationship and we use terms such as ‘parallel process’. These insights, explained by using therapeutic language, can be so powerful they hide the reality of lives being lived at an entirely different level. Therapeutic complexities are available to colleagues in supervision but may be of no relevance to the client who needs clarity, hope and creativity. The power of belonging to a profession with its own language is subtle and seductive. I wonder how supervision would proceed if we used concepts and ideas that mirror the way the client thinks, feels and acts?
The power of an open mind-
Counselling and psychotherapy professions provide a supervision resource that is scarce in most communities. This means we are often supervising other professionals such as those working in health, education, justice, spiritual settings, crisis services, culturally based communities, managerial positions and ‘issue based’ services such as abuse and addiction centres. I am involved in all of these at present. As supervision becomes popular in other professions I wonder what they will have learnt from the caring professions who pioneered the role of supervisor?
It seems to me these health and education related colleagues are seeking the benefits of shared power in a safe setting. The kind of powerful intervention that releases new energy in the mind and heart of a caring practitioner or manager belongs within therapeutic paradigms based on uncertainty. Highly structured counselling or psychotherapy training will not create the ability to think outside the square or be a visionary. The supervisor who comes from training and experience that has valued vulnerability, lived with unanswered questions and designed their own way of working will create new pathways for supervisees trained in other disciplines. We can make powerful interventions based on the notion of asking searching questions, seeking a third way through dilemmas and pointing to expansive parameters, appropriate boundaries and creative possibilities. The ability to do that is something I believe should be built into every training that has to do with establishing relationships. It was in my trainings as a counsellor and therapist and I hope it does not disappear in favour of definition, strict accountabilities, favoured methods and designed practice guidelines for all to follow.
Closed systems deliver limited power while open systems encourage us to contemplate that which at the time seems impossible. We should engage supervisors who understand how to share power openly and equally in the supervision room. Perhaps the idea of leaving questions open and living with uncertainty in the supervision room may be criticized for unsettling long standing traditions. I only know it has released me to be my powerful ‘self’ and in the end, that is what the client wants me to bring into my work.
A. Roy Bowden, Counsellor and Training Consultant.
Published NZAC Newsletter, December 2007
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